Whatdya get when you add...

A bag of moss +

A taxidermy squirrel and...

A pair of Chanel shoes??

A job at Barney's, apparently. A friend of mine just got a job on Barney's visual display team. Amazing, I know! How'd she do it, right!? This is the best part - they put her in a room with tons of random stuff (ie: taxidermy squirrel) for 45 minutes and said - Go! She put together a wicked display. Think: alice in wonderland meets the queen of the fairies who happens to be an environmentalist in an enchanted forest. They loved it and her. Needless to say, she starts on Monday.

That for which there is no explanation...

Found this on a business card today and it made me smile.

[Person's Name]
hand knit crash helmets, subversive wallpaper, doll making, spontaneous dancing, military jewelry, that for which there is no explanation.

:)

My walk home

I'm sure it will come as no surprise to any of you that I am always running late and therefore I never have time to walk the Williamsburg bridge into Manhattan. Thus, the panorama is more downtown than uptown. Read: No Empire State building or Chrysler spire. Still - Voila! Brooklyn! the 3rd pic is the Manhattan bridge (i'm almost positive :)
*One final note. As I was taking these pics I made eye contact with a cute boy - who then gave me a HUGE grin. Sigh. That was before my wretched haircut.

Shout Outs! (part deux!)

CONGRATULATIONS JESSIE AND BRETT!
I mocked up an engagement photo for you. If only Jessie played the ukulele... Enjoy!

PS - my photo editing skills...amazing. I know ;)

Shout Outs!

HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY SWEET JOSIAH!
Destined for greatness, I can feel it!

I can only hope...

To look this good at age...wait. Oh, 57.

So, funny story. I've been buying French "Glamour" to read while I eat breakfast. (I MUST have a magazine or catalog to read at breakfast. Don't ask me why, chalk it up to one of my many weird peccadillos.) This magazine is perfect because I can't gobble it up in a sitting. I usually average about two pages a breakfast. Ok, back to the lesson at hand. This morning, as I paged through Glamour, they did a retrospective on Richard Avedon (iconic photographer, 1923-2004) and then showed this self portrait from 1980: In my bleary-eyed, half awake state I was shocked and thought, "Wow. WOW! He looks GREAT!! For 77??" Then, I thought more about it and was like, "duh, heather - he's 67." And now, as I write this...I realize 57. He's 57. And now my, "WOW!! I hope I look that good at 77" is more like, "eh...he looks ok." Kidding. Google him. His photos are amazing. Powerful. Elegant.

LIST

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY DAD!!

Possible gift ideas...

Did I mention ice cream??

The T9 (predictive text) function on my cell phone chooses "heavier" before "heather" when I type in my name. The control top on my tights leaves a line on my upper thighs. I start to salivate when I hear the melody to a childhood favorite, "doooooo yooooouuuur ears hang low? can you swing 'em to and fro? Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow? Can you throw 'em over your shoulder like a continental solider? Do your ears. hang. low?!" Remember that one? It plays non stop in my neighborhood - seriously. It's the ice cream truck anthem, apparently and I swear there are more of trucks than there are children racing towards them. And now, whenever I hear that song - I honestly start to salivate with the few salivary glands I have left. Like a pavlovian dog. These are signs people. I've taken action. Feeding my cravings (literally) with these utterly delicious and surprisingly filling low calorie treats.

This bear is all about slimming!!

I think I see a theme - Lists!

I've decided to introduce a "theme" (once a week? month? whatever.) to my blog. I'm profoundly calling it: List. Enjoy :)

NCPC = 19

An apple a day...

An apple iphone (2.0) that is!!! Check it it out: Apple Aims for the Masses With a Cheaper iPhone

With the NCPC officially at 20 Days (thank you June 10th!) Just thinking about which new cell phone to buy is thrilling. iphones are great and all...but this one doesn't even come out till July 11th (adding another 11 days onto the NCPC) AND even though it's much cheaper than the first one, it is still more expensive than what I was planning on paying. Thoughts??? Anyone wish to weigh in?

NCPC = 22

What I should have been thinking...

Instead of "Hey, the best things in life are free..." is "Remember, there's no such thing as a free lunch." Why, do you ask? Well, when the rep. from Frederic Fekkai (yep, that one) came around offering "FREE HAIRCUTS" I erroneously thought an angel from heaven descended to transform me into the beautiful woman we all know is hiding under a mop of mediocre hair. Frankly, I saw it as a gift. It was not. I despise my new haircut. Seriously. I hate it. Ugh. And I'm not being dramatic or over the top it's reeeeally bad. Like, ilook30yearsolder bad. Not at all funky, cute or fun (I believe were the exact adjectives requested).

The best part?? The entire time he was snipping away, Monsieur Big Wig with Fekkai (I googled him. He's kind of a big deal hence the pseudonym) was showing some veteran hairdresser how you can bring "hair to life" like a GE f*ing light bulb in only 15 minutes at $200 a pop. "Just imagine if you did 20 cuts a day!" Seriously. He said this in an adorable french accent while hacking away at my "isthatgorgeouscurlnatural?" hair. ($4,000 a day, by the way) Ugh. C'est la vie! It'll grow. Right?

NCPC = 23

T minus 23 days until I can get a new cell phone!
New Cell Phone Count

My first step into actual maturity...

I'm getting a cat tomorrow! Ok. Not really. I mean, there is a cat moving into my apartment - temporarily. I don't have to pay for anything so basically I'm operating a glorified kennel. A cat hospice if you will... Still, this is the first time in (ahem) ever that it's my responsibility to keep something other than myself and a goldfish alive. The latter of which I've been relatively unsuccessful at. And before anyone starts making cracks about the single girl with a cat...please...let's be more original, shall we?


Oh, and if you're looking to kill some time - check out this gem of a website:
http://catsinsinks.com/
Yup! Cats.In.Sinks. :)

My cell phone is dying!

The one with the rubber band holding the battery in place - that one! Now it only works when it's plugged into the wall and even then...intermittently. However, I refuse to surrender! My new contract thingy with the $150 phone stipend or whatever they call it is due on July 1st. Less than a month away. And the humiliation of hauling an ugly pink phone around NY with a rubberband securing the battery in place for the last 6 (yes, SIX) months will all have been in vain if I give up now.

Plus, I can put that additional $75 toward these:

Ah!

Ok. So. I have a crush on a bartender. And before you say anything - I know. Seriously - he isn't even cute. Like, at all. Read: small teeth and receding hairline - stuff I usually don't notice so they must be bad, right?? Right. I'm chalking my attraction up to the $3 margarita's he serves during happy hour at a bar conveniently close to Anthroplogie, his accent AND his flair. You know - flipping shakers, swinging bottles...that whole thing...it's hot.

Fast forward to this morning. I can't sleep. I've been awake since 4AM when a corkboard fell off my wall *that's another story*. As 6:30 rolled around I decided enough is enough. I threw on a cardigan, my chucks, grabbed my bag and headed to the bakery under the train stop. Paying a whopping $1.75 for the most delicious coffee in the world (I think they use heated condensed milk or fairy dust - who knows) and a donut I bought the latest issue of New York Magazine and headed home to enjoy. Please imagine my giddy, incredulous surprise when on pg. 40 - my bartender crush was pictured along with 20 other New Yorkers in the Breakfast Poll. I was all like - "I recognize that guy. How do I recognize that guy!?" Finally, it dawned on me that it was MY CRUSH!! The one I drunkenly gush about to my roommate when I come home from happy hour. How totally bizarre and random! Too bad it's still obscenely early and Sara is still asleep. I'm like a kid on Christmas morning waiting for their parents to wake up so they can pounce!

Oh, and in case you were wondering - he ate Moroccan Couscous with grilled chicken and hummus, an americano and fresh orange juice. Sorta pretentious if you ask me. I'll take fairy dusted coffee over "an americano and fresh orange juice" any day!

Firtations?

So. I had not 1 but 2 interactions yesterday with total strangers that A) make me smile and B) make me wonder, "Was he just flirting with me?"

Scenario #1: Make my order at the deli (tuna on wheat with lettuce and tomato and an iced coffee) when the guy in front of me says, "Hey! That's exactly what I ordered! Copycat!" and then we proceeded to chat about working in soho. Even though I don't, really. Whatever.

Scenario #2: On the way home from dinner with a massive case of the hiccups, I was walking parallel to some guy across the street for several blocks... Eventually he had to cross the street (to my side) and right as he was behind me he said, "Boo." Not even all that loud and it took me a second to get it, even. I turned around and we both gave these gargantuan grins. Sigh. He could have been the love of my life.

10 Excuses I give myself...

i love shop

Check it out: iloveshop.com My new internship. Pretty cool, no? Let me know what you think. Seriously. Any suggestions? Any ideas?

Sex and the City = WHY?

So GOOD! Loved it! It was funny, it was nostalgic, it was fierce! I. Loved. It. Then why - WHY do I hesitate to have my mom see it!? Because, well...she's my MOM!
As for all the haters out there (NYTimes) get over yourselves. As for the scandal with the Nina Ricci dress...Olivier Theyskans should be ashamed of himself. I think it's a very big deal. This is WHY...

Parker told the NYTimes (Cathy Horyn) “In the big picture, this is not important, but there is a relationship between the entertainment industry and fashion. We’ve watched sales dwindle and we’ve watched people be less inclined to spend money on clothes.” For the silly bloggers out there who interpret SJP's comments about "sales" to literally mean the $10,000 dress, you're crazy and naive. 1st - If I'm paying ten thousand dollars for a dress you better believe it will be a one of a kind. Dur. 2nd - Nina Ricci's brand was given measurable credibility (literally - I'm sure their PR interns have a spreadsheet somewhere) by having a fashion/cultural icon photographed in their dress. Wearing said dress to the US premier of SATC gave the house the sort of lasting brand equity that is really immeasurable. The sort of brand equity lots of designers would kill for and Olivier Theyskens lied about to get. Lame. My question: WHY didn't she know in the first place!? Doesn't she read Style.com or Harper's Bazaar?? I'd totally loan her my copy!

Guess who I met?!

The actor who plays "Sloan" on Alias - Ron Rifkin! Wearing glasses like that - ok, they were green. Whatever. Not as exciting as, say, an Olsen twin, but he told me I was a "dear"! So there's a story here (isn't there always?). Partly out of habit and partly out of store policy, I had to ask to see his id. As I had been debating the whole time whether I should say something about, well, him being famous and all...I'm sure I blushed a little when I asked. Throwing caution to the wind, I told him I felt silly asking for id because I was just watching Alias but well...store policy...you know. He was utterly charming and nice and made my first "celebrity" encounter all the more wonderful when he thanked me and said, "you're a dear."

I'm a dear!!

Love 'em or leave 'em?

Dr. Martens?! I know, "how 8th grade?" But I think they're coming back. I do. Think about it: paired with skirts and vests, dresses, over skinny jeans...totally hip, right? Plus they'd be comfortable stomping through NY and Teen Vogue did an editorial spread with them. I think I have to have them. Don't I?? Too bad I threw out my purple ones. Which makes me think that I should keep every piece of clothing I've ever worn in storage like Sarah Jessica Parker does because you just never know...